Quotes Category: Things I say to my kids

Isn’t mom great explaining that so you can promptly ignore her?

Stop rubbing your forehead on the carpet or you’ll get another rug burn.

Kid – I got a rug burn on my head. (sob!) Me – Sorry, that’s why I told you not to do that

I accept the fact that today you are young and ignorant, but someday my child, you shall be older and slightly less ignorant.

Eat your food!

Look, if I wanted to live in Idiot Town I wouldn’t have moved to the other room for a little peace and quiet.

Watching that child eat BBQ Wings is something that should only be reserved for the worst political prisoners

Stop picking your nose with your toes