It’s not me, it’s the black tank
Me: Why are you covering up your head? Kid: Because my feet are cold.
You just signed your death warranty
Q-Why are you wearing 2 pair of underwear? A-I wanted to disguise them.
Girl cheese sandwiches for lunch? I wish we had something for boys.
Son #3 – I’m my parents 2nd favorite 3rd oldest son
I’m a good Englisher
If I could marry any cake I want it would be a chicken pot pie